In the solemn silence of my sleepy demeanor, there is a calm sense of determination. A strong urge to write down my thoughts, purge the day's pondering. I find myself wondering about the what if's in life.
What if I wake up tomorrow and find the world has changed and I am still the same?
What if i fail to wake up tomorrow?
Who will care for my family when I am unable to do so?
What if the stock market crashes?
Why do we invest our time, hopes and dreams in a financial institution that only creates heartache?
What if pigs could fly?
What if I were famous?
What does it feel like to be famous anyway?
What if my baby girl grows up to be just like me?
All of these questions and many more that haven't formed in to words wake me up with a start. I sleepily reach over to find that perhaps another source of my startled awakening could have been the cry of Song, my ten month old daughter. She snuggles up close to me and I am reminded once again that I am her world and she mine. I burry my face in her skin and breath in her clean scent. She whimpers lightly in her sleeping, probably going over today's adventures in her dreams. It is my job to make sure that she has everything necessary to grow up with joy and knowing that life is all about the shared journey. What a small world we all live in. I briefly attempt my hand at capturing these thoughts for future perusal.
You are famous, my love. There are circles and circles of notoriety. To be known and recognized around the state, the country, the world, I know one thing about it, one has to keep at it, so much courses through existence that remembering the impact of another soul..yet we make our way through life remembering, perhaps I mean being the frontman, or frontwoman, is partly about being in constant circulation, being willing to take credit, praise and criticism. And pigs do fly, in airplanes... Why these questions responded to?
ReplyDeleteAs for caring, or being unable to care for family...it is something we do together. Are you able to write more about feeling alone? Are you able to write about our getting closer? What you seek in a partner? A career? A family? Song will grow up to be unnervingly like us, and she will be completely herself. I understand this blog is more about questions than answers, I am so glad you are writing! I love when you reach out to me in the night. Thank you for sharing these thoughts with me.